Autumn

Every year in autumn I feel melancholy. Just like every year in spring I feel filled with hope.
This melancholy makes me look backwards and not forwards like I do in spring.
I don't mind the feeling at all. In fact melancholy is very much a part of me.
Looking back I want to re-connect with old friends. People I liked when I lived in London in the UK and went to art school here. I have found a few and it feels good because I have also re-found some of the self I was then. Parts of our personality can get buried in life and for years even! This happened with me through moving, leaving language behind, culture, common reference points, and history. I wanted that very much at the time. Feeling like an outsider is okay and was okay. I needed distance from my personal life then.
Now I like to re-connect with the parts that have been dormant.
When you are in a relationship and become a parent your priorities have to change, there just is not enough time to keep up. So now is a good time to balance that and re-prioritize.
I welcome the melancholy that helps me look inward and find what I have neglected. Thank you autumn.